Happy is the head honcho who gets on with his life after he has retired from his job. Happy his family too, especially his wife. For most men, this rite of passage, coming at the end of a long road, seems to be the equivalent of entering a tunnel. Once the euphoria that is whipped up over his last day at work settles down, his life seems to hold the taste of champagne gone flat.

Waking up in the morning with no routine to follow of dressing up, bustling about and leaving for work; not having all the highs and lows that marked his working hours through the better part of the day, can create a sudden emptiness; a feeling of being lost. More so, for those who have had a taste of power, with a team ready to heed their every command.

While the rest of the household continues to hum along on its usual path, the newly superannuated man, bereft of the main occupation that had held him captive for the better part of three decades, flounders to find relevance. Statistics prove that the chances of this leading to serious health issues are high.

The story of the working woman who reaches the age or stage where she needs to let go of her job is somewhat different. For her, life has seldom run on a single track. More often than not, family demands ensured she branched out mind and body, to engage in a plethora of activities to keep her household happy.

If the double role added extra stress to her life, she probably took it in her stride for diverse reasons: the sheer joy of being able to work, the extra money and perks, the freedom to be someone besides just wife and mother while in the workspace.

Quick to adapt

So she would buckle down and, among other things, play hostess to her husband’s friends, and throw parties to impress his boss; and when necessary be mentor, teacher, playmate for her children, adapting her roles as they grew. More important, she would have a group of friends who bonded over common interests, which could range from cooking and trading recipes to bonsai, from travelling or playing bridge or housie.

So, when the time comes, depending on her interests and her inclinations, she shuts down the working woman and applies herself to honing that pastime or skill that she had been dabbling in through her working years, and even daring to embark on a new dream, by learning something new or pursuing a course of study.

The man, on the other hand… ah, he has most likely been too engrossed in his career, in ensuring he added cake and caviar to the bread that he placed on the table, and unless he had been swept into playing squash or golf or some network enhancing sport or is an ardent reader, has run through the years on a linear track.

He might make efforts to reach out to friends, but their company does not fulfil the vacuum that now occupies his mind; he misses running the ship as he has been doing at the office.

With the instinct to run things still raging in him, he turns his attention on his new surroundings. Suddenly nothing in the house is as good as it should be; and whether it is the meal being served, the way the furniture is arranged…it’s as if the home he has inhabited all these years has suddenly come into focus and it is all wrong. He does what he knows best, he micro manages.

Woe betide the stay at home spouse of such a man. He buzzes around like a pesky fly, commenting on matters that she has managed adeptly for years. For the still working wife of course, the possibility of her stress levels going through the roof in such a case, is very real.

So what is this then, beyond a walk through a common phenomenon? A heads-up to those swiftly making their way up corporate ladders. Develop a hobby, chase a passion. Ensure it is engrossing, and has potential to grow. And keep dreaming of how you will make it the most happening thing thing in your life, once you have the time for it. Retirement will hold no bogeys then.

The writer is a Consulting Editor with Penguin India

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